Discovering Vincent
Photo: Bushra Sathked
Personal Essay: At the recent Van Gogh 360° event in Mumbai, Bushra Satkhed found inspiration in the trouble artist’s keen eye for the beauty in life.
I had only known about Vincent van Gogh from “The Starry Night”, his most famous painting. I couldn’t recall where I had first seen it, but I was sure I know something special about that piece of art. So, when the immersive art experience Van Gogh 360° arrived in Mumbai, I made the hasty decision to attend.
Only a few artists have had the impact on art history like Van Gogh. The fine art he created during his lifetime made him a global icon after his death.
However, Van Gogh was not famous while he was alive, because his painting style was not as popular in his own time. A chief cause of this, perhaps, was that Van Gogh used bright colours during a time when using dark colors were more in vogue. But I think this wasn’t the only reason: One’s true value becomes evident once their grave is dug. Time is witness to this fact. The presence of a man in life may mean nothing to the people around him, but once his body turns into ashes or is swallowed by the soil, his importance expands.
Van Gogh left behind a collection of the 2,100-some artworks, making him one of the most influential figures in the history of Western art. Is it true that we humans look for stories of tragedy to immerse ourselves better into this world? The crowd at Van Gogh’s show in Mumbai—gathering over a century after the artist’s death—were proof of how successfully his ‘story’ has survived.
The gallery at the World Trade Centre welcomed visitor with huge panes of his creatives, with details about Van Gogh’s life and his art. We read about his childhood, his education, his life with his family and loved ones, his time at the asylum, his struggles, and his tragic end.
Photo: Bushra Sathked
What really caught my attention was that Van Gogh was never really considered to be a ‘born artist’. He was known to be a quiet child with no palpable artistic talent. Usually, one is told tales of gifted individuals with extraordinary talents who go on to achieve great things. Van Gogh, however, didn’t fall into that category—and this gave me so much hope, for every child who thinks that they aren’t good enough.
Reading further about him, I learned that Van Gogh was the recipient of a broken education, moving from a village school in Zundert to a boarding school in Zevenbergen, and a few months at a high school in Tilburg. This was another aspect I could relate to the late artist, as I have also moved cities and countries, and changed schools throughout my childhood. I wondered if that could have had a deep impact on his mental state. It did for me; having no place to call home can do a lot of things to one’s state of mind. Having no support, no people of your own, no love can make you miserable.
I think that is what happened to Van Gogh; but he couldn’t overcome it, like I did.
Is it true that we humans look for stories of tragedy to immerse ourselves better into this world? The crowd at Van Gogh’s show in Mumbai—gathering over a century after the artist’s death—were proof of how successfully his ‘story’ has survived.
As stated earlier, Van Gogh was an amateur, who eventually proved his exceptional hand in paintings. He set out to become a great painter with contributions to modern art with his audacious blends of colour. His journey has been motivational for me, too, for choosing the rather unconventional field of media and journalism. Knowing nothing about my path, it gave me some hope to know that I too will figure out my way, like the artist.
When his illness brought him to encounter different forms of delusions and psychotic attacks, Van Gogh began to lose himself. On the night of December 23, 1888, during one of his severe mental breakdowns, he cut off a part of his own ear with a razor. This anecdote from his life made me wonder what was it that he experienced that made him take such a drastic step. Was it noises that disturbed him and wouldn’t let him sleep? Was it his own consciousness, threatening him in the middle of the night, or haunting past whispering to him that he couldn’t leave unheard?
It made me ponder upon the fact that we humans tend to do exactly this when we face the slightest inconvenience in our lives, we immediately cut it off. Sometimes it is a good thing to do this, but most of the time we need to listen to our inner insecurities or the guilts we carry in life. We need to lend an ear to the pain and suffering of our mind, the complaints we have with ourselves. Only listening may help us immerse ourselves in acceptance and truth finally leading us to the path of letting go. I wish Van Gogh would have done the same to battle his depression and psychic state.
Photo: Bushra Sathked
The mystery behind this incident to date remains unknown, but I believe that Van Gogh may have struggled with his own perception of himself, leading him to create a post-impressionistic selfie. Van Gogh’s self-portraits tell us how he looks at himself: restrained and serious. But, after having a look at his paintings and his face in the three-dimensional giant projections, it narrated a different story to me. The eye-popping colours and highlighted bold brushstrokes demonstrate how he attempted to find himself through those paintings, yet failed miserably. He had said, “People say, and I am willing to believe it, that it is hard to know yourself.”
I am unsure if Van Gogh truly did find himself when his time had come to bid adieu to this world. But his words make me think otherwise. Van Gogh took his life in July 1890, perhaps succumbing to his own expectations upon himself. He felt he couldn’t live anymore, as he expected too much from himself. He even wrote to his brother that “he felt like a failure”.
Van Gogh’s landscape art, filled with bright colours and flower swirls, did reveal one important trait about the artist: I believe that he wished to spread happiness to others, and help them experience euphoria through his paintings. And in this mission, he succeeded. This is the little happy ending to his tragic tale of loneliness and melancholy. His artwork makes me believe that Van Gogh did find the positive aspects of being alive, if only one changes their perspective—in the way he tried to show the world through his artistic lens. He didn’t blame anyone for his sufferings, though he knew he must have been wronged in his lifetime. He believed in the good of mankind.
Leaving the Van Gogh 360° experience, I knew that I was certainly going to stand out on the streets and view the world, to admire and appreciate beauty in little things, to try and discover my own perspective about the world—just like Van Gogh did.
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Bushra Satkhed is an Indian journalist and author pursuing a Ph.D. in Journalism and Mass Communication from Somaiya University. She has worked for Times Network, NDTV, and The Indian Express. She has self-published four books, and her latest novel, Amaranthine will be launched soon by Saga Fiction Publication. You can find her on Twitter: @BushraSatkhed and Instagram: @BushraSatkhed.
