A Thousand Cuts: Two Poems by Carol D’Souza
Photo: Karan Madhok
Poetry: ‘An armour is only the skin / that has learned / that there is no such thing / as face value / The prudent trick / of seeming like a free-flowing ditty / from within’
Every Day
A shopkeeper looks past me to chat up the man I’m with. A thousand cuts, and a slice every day
One expects and girds loins for the big fights, it’s the passing kicks that still bruise and surprise every day
Beloved’s garland of love around my neck, a loose noose I hear foremothers whispering
Twig by twig I attempt to build my nest, eyes peeled for apples that entice every day
Glittering pixels arranged to flatter by friends and foes alike. Slow drip, ivy green, streamed direct
Trying to keep head in this glinting maze, my tatty self I try to sooth, and not despise every day
The gravity of a blank page is a force which obliterates attractions of security and good sense
What do I want? Words. I suspect, in the end, life and love will exact revenge. I worry about this price every day
There are many stars in the sky Blaiz, it’s true. The night is brighter for it. They do not dim you
Sidestep the rat race. Two inches of ivory yours to tend. Keep your head down, read and write every day
*
Sticky Notes
Some attention crawls on the skin
Thankfully, with practice, sleaze is a stink
that can be sniffed out early
For instance, when an inch, a chink,
or a minor spike in warmth
has unwelcome, eager feelers edging in
An armour is only the skin
that has learned
that there is no such thing
as face value
The prudent trick
of seeming like a free-flowing ditty
from within
a tactical lock-solid meter,
with only one syllable wobbling
for misdirection,
is a learned discipline
To smile a smile that is a wall
and present it
as being a part of the installation
This smile that is a wall
is a smile that has been built
brick by brick
It is a smile that still
relapses into being
a smile that is
an automatic encouragement,
an undeserved reward,
a reinforcing guffaw, or a self-effacing simper, too easily
Calluses of effort may need to be camouflaged smooth
to throw the feelers off the scent, and stage
a strategic exit
***
Carol D'Souza is a writer and translator from Bangalore. A collation of her work can be found at linktr.ee/cblaizd.
